Let's talk about turning 17...

So we've reviewed how things were going up to the point of chemotherapy, but why stop now? This actually where I can share a little humor with you about my trials and tribulations throughout my year of treatment. Perhaps my favorite story is my 17th birthday. I had gotten all fixed up (i.e. showered and put on clean clothes...hey, I was on chemo) and was spending a pleasant morning in the chemo lab. Afterward I went home and took my usual 4 hour nap (give or take a few hours) and when I woke up I realized all of my family had arrived at our house to have dinner for my birthday. Suddenly, I was gripped with nerves. It is amazing how we often want attention, but when we have a reason for getting a lot of attention (such as being an adolescent cancer patient) suddenly we wish we could just blend in. Well that is definitely how I felt right then. I was just picturing in my mind that I would walk down the stairs and all 25+ family members who were in attendance would all stop talking at once and they would all be staring at me in silence. If you know my family you know that this is a ridiculous notion, as silent is one characteristic that would never be used to describe us. However, in my head that's how I saw the scene going down: everyone staring at me with curiosity, concern, pity (bluch); maybe even starting up a slow clap... Admittedly this was a very dramatic scenario but as I sat in my room debating how I could possibly make a low-key entrance, I was sure that was what was waiting for me on the other side of my door.

So I did what any mature, adult person would do in that situation. I sucked it up, took a deep breath and called for my dad. When he came in my room I simply told him that I didn't want everyone to make a big fuss over me and I just wanted to act like things were normal, no big entrance or hooplah (is that how you spell hooplah; is hooplah a word?) about me. He said he would take care of it. So I sat in my room a bit longer and heard the loud chatter die down as my father was surely making that little announcement to my boisterous and wonderful family. I breathed a sigh of relief, opened my door and made my way down the stairs, knowing that even with my father's request that they would still be unable to stop themselves from showering me with attention. I put on a dignified and brave expression, bracing myself for the inevitable flood of emotion.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and saw my family sprawled all over the house, and I readied myself for the unstoppable... everyone completely ignoring me. Yes, that's right. Apparently my dad is a more convincing man than I realized; no one even acknowledged that I was there. In fact, there some definite aversion of eye contact and pretending they didn't see me! Now I know I asked not to make a fuss, but I wasn't invisible! And it was still my birthday, after all! Come on, people, there has to be a middle ground between overwhelming attention and completely ignoring! Well apparently there wasn't, so I sidled up to the nearest people and said hello and they ever-so-casually (I saw right through it!) pretended to "just" notice I was there. So much for subtlety...