So it is another Tuesday, but frighteningly the end of July is quickly drawing near. I cannot believe how quickly summer has gone by. The past few weeks have been exceptionally busy as I traveled to Minnesota for a week for a wedding and to visit my amazing family up there! I also have moved into a new apartment which has taken up quite a bit of my time, as you can imagine. It would be so easy to move if I wasn't...myself, I guess. I have big time problems with clutter and leaving things all in boxes everywhere, so I have been struggling to get everything out and find a place for everything. Funny how great it sounds in theory and how difficult it is in execution! I have also decided to become a crafty, amazing, inspirational sort of person (which is difficult considering I lack the ability to work power tools and the even more important knowledge of how to sew). However, I refuse to let these minor limitations stop me from figuring out ways to still make fun and functional things for the apartment, etc. Helping me with this dream is my new discovery of the website Pinterest! I hope you are all frequenters of it because it is hands-down amazing.
But I am now attempting to (translation: struggling tremendously to) get back into the swing of a regular schedule, work, and school. It is all so overwhelming and I know I just need to dive in and take it a little at a time to reduce the load. Still, it's one of those things that is much more difficult in the execution of it... I am, however, at the office today, and I have sent a ridiculous number of "house-keeping" emails and even managed to do a little research. Still on my list for today is: checking into student health insurance (eerrggggg), and printing a million pages of documents that I need to read. Wish me luck! Oh, and in case you haven't heard... I PASSED ALL OF MY COMPREHENSIVE EXAMS!!!! I cannot explain the feeling of euphoria, elation, relief, and slight terror (of what comes next) that I am experiencing, but it is still a great mix! Take care, and more soon.
Casey
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Well Hello
My most sincere apologies for the extended absence! As you can guess, my comps are now thankfully (and hopefully truly) finished! We expect to hear the results at the end of next week which will make for an either blissfully happy or downtrodden 4th of July! At this point, I am just happy to not be studying every available moment of the day. I have even progressed onward to thinking about the next steps. They say to take a break after primary comps, but you have to be careful that such a break does not become a permanent vacation. With that in mind I have been meeting with advisors and mentors as well as observing at the Children's Hospital "Taking on Life after Cancer" childhood cancer survivorship clinic (which is AH-mazing). I am pretty sure that is going to be the focal point of my dissertation research, and honestly I could not be happier! My only "problem" now is trying to narrow down the scope of this particular research project. I find so many aspects to be fascinating and relevant that in my head I start to overload my plate at the research buffet. After my meetings this week and next week, though, I should have it narrowed down (hopefully) to something I can feasibly accomplish within the next year. Then I can spend the rest of my life chowing down, so to speak, on the rest of the research that has caught my eye.
Other than that I have mostly been trying to take it easy to an extent. Odds and ends of work each day, and ongoing reviews of the literature (it never seems to end...), and trying to spend some time with family and friends. Greatest emphasis on the latter because I neglected so many people (probably including you as you read this) during my study isolation. So now I am attempting to make up for some lost time. On the near horizon is my trip to Minnesota to see some family up there (I've never been, though they have come here), for my dear friends' wedding, and naturally to visit the Mall of America. I am told they have one of those "As Seen on TV" stores at which I plan on emptying the contents of my checking account. Actually, I am working on saving money, but it is extremely difficult, I have found. It seems my spending is directly proportional to how much free time I have. So I am working on that.
I hope you are well, and not melting in this hellacious heat. I try to spend most of my time inside to avoid heat stroke and other heat-induced aggravations (although you wouldn't know it because of my glowing spray tan--since extended sun exposure is a no-no for me, I like to see how the other half lives by indulging in the occassional spray tan. No, I am not orange...I hope). I'm hoping for an opportunity to get to the beach sometime this summer, not for the sun and all, but because I just generally like the beach atmosphere of flip flops, optional showers, and seafood. Let me know if you have any vacation plans; I am more than happy to tag along :)
Oh, also, very exciting: the sweet, sweet girl whom I have been tutoring for three years just graduated from high school! She will be attending college in the fall and I could not be more proud of her. I kind of understand what it is like for a parent to see their child succeed or a mama bird who sees its babies flapping their wings for the first time. Anyway, her amazing family surprised me with an almost equally amazing "graduation" present for me: and iPad 2! I am still in shock and overwhelmed with gratitude at their generosity. This is amplified by the fact that I get to pick it up today! So perhaps soon I will be blogging from that; the possibilities are endless!
Okay, well I really must get to work on something so that I can claim today as at least semi-productive. (Hopefully more interesting) updates soon, and let me know what your summer plans are so I can see if they are better than mine and decide if I should abandon my own and crash yours. Love.
C
Other than that I have mostly been trying to take it easy to an extent. Odds and ends of work each day, and ongoing reviews of the literature (it never seems to end...), and trying to spend some time with family and friends. Greatest emphasis on the latter because I neglected so many people (probably including you as you read this) during my study isolation. So now I am attempting to make up for some lost time. On the near horizon is my trip to Minnesota to see some family up there (I've never been, though they have come here), for my dear friends' wedding, and naturally to visit the Mall of America. I am told they have one of those "As Seen on TV" stores at which I plan on emptying the contents of my checking account. Actually, I am working on saving money, but it is extremely difficult, I have found. It seems my spending is directly proportional to how much free time I have. So I am working on that.
I hope you are well, and not melting in this hellacious heat. I try to spend most of my time inside to avoid heat stroke and other heat-induced aggravations (although you wouldn't know it because of my glowing spray tan--since extended sun exposure is a no-no for me, I like to see how the other half lives by indulging in the occassional spray tan. No, I am not orange...I hope). I'm hoping for an opportunity to get to the beach sometime this summer, not for the sun and all, but because I just generally like the beach atmosphere of flip flops, optional showers, and seafood. Let me know if you have any vacation plans; I am more than happy to tag along :)
Oh, also, very exciting: the sweet, sweet girl whom I have been tutoring for three years just graduated from high school! She will be attending college in the fall and I could not be more proud of her. I kind of understand what it is like for a parent to see their child succeed or a mama bird who sees its babies flapping their wings for the first time. Anyway, her amazing family surprised me with an almost equally amazing "graduation" present for me: and iPad 2! I am still in shock and overwhelmed with gratitude at their generosity. This is amplified by the fact that I get to pick it up today! So perhaps soon I will be blogging from that; the possibilities are endless!
Okay, well I really must get to work on something so that I can claim today as at least semi-productive. (Hopefully more interesting) updates soon, and let me know what your summer plans are so I can see if they are better than mine and decide if I should abandon my own and crash yours. Love.
C
Sunday, May 29, 2011
And then it was Sunday...
Hi Readers, I hope you are having a lovely Memorial Day weekend. I know where I am it is sunny and gorgeous outside. Granted, I can only see the beautiful weather as I seethe with envy from inside the library and school buildings. No, that is an exaggeration; I am in a more positive mood than I let on. You see, my comps are only a Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday away. I cannot believe that they are already here. But, I have studied, I feel pretty prepared, and I know that all of the hard work will be worth it afterward when I have at least a solid week to relax. My only concern is that the reason I feel ready for them is not so much that I feel solidly prepared to ace them, but that I really just want them to be over, for better or worse! My younger sister was an absolute angel and spent three hours with me yesterday calling things out and patiently waiting through my several tantrums, frustrations, and epiphanies. Sometimes it really does help to have company while you study. Or it does for me, at least.
On a sidenote, my sweet, sweet L (whom I have been tutoring for three years) graduated high school on Friday! I cannot tell you how proud I am of her, and how much she has accomplished. She is off to college now and I am having a very strange (perhaps maternal?) feeling as she is "all grown up" now! I'm going to miss our weekly sessions, but I could not be more happy for her. And we had a wonderful dinner on Friday night to celebrate this accomplishment.
So anyway, I just finished my 6th or so practice session for comps. Knowing the material is only half the battle, as you have to have a great deal of stamina to write without stopping for 3 hours, break for an hour, and then do another 3 hours. That second 3 hour session is what is going to get me. Not to mention day 2 of the same schedule. What is crazy is that even with the 3 hour time block, I have found that I still have trouble getting out all of the information I need to get down. Last weekend I wrote for the solid 3 hour practice session and when I finished I had 10 solid pages written (single-spaced), yet there was still information and examples I didn't get down. Got to keep working at it, I suppose.
I am currently impressed with my will power to say no (something at which I am truly awful). I hate saying no to people whether it is something fun that I want to do or something not-so-fun that someone asks me to do. However I have currently said "No" to the following things:
1. Babysitting (very tough; I hate turning people down)
2. A weekend at the LAKE with friends (that one really, really stung)
3. A different weekend by the POOL with other friends (oh, the pain)
4. Dinners/drinks with friends (not as difficult as 2 and 3, but still unhappy)
I have also noticed that many things which I usually value highly have become less important to me. For instance:
1. Personal appearance (showering and brushing teeth are about as good-looking as I've been getting)
2. Neat and tidiness (my closet is full to bursting with odds and ends that I don't have time to find a real place for)
3. Physical activity (I don't think you can get more sedentary than studying 6-10 hours a day)
4. Social interaction (my phone is always on silent and I have only been enjoying the company of textbooks)
5. Sunlight (I am so pale it looks rather sickly--in need of a spray tan)
6. Positive impressions (I think I have worn the same outfit like 3 days in a row, or at least variations of it--whatever I can find that is clean is what I wear without regard for matching, etc.)
7. Speaking in complete/articulate sentences (a lot of that is due to the social isolation one)
However, I am just grateful that I have wonderful friends and family who have been urging me on and supporting me, and an amazing boyfriend who is okay with the fact that we haven't had a legitimate conversation in over a week due to the studying/work/phone on silent/sleep deprivation schedule. Thank you all for your sweet thoughts, prayers, and well wishes. Friday at 4pm I'm reclaiming my life :)
Casey
On a sidenote, my sweet, sweet L (whom I have been tutoring for three years) graduated high school on Friday! I cannot tell you how proud I am of her, and how much she has accomplished. She is off to college now and I am having a very strange (perhaps maternal?) feeling as she is "all grown up" now! I'm going to miss our weekly sessions, but I could not be more happy for her. And we had a wonderful dinner on Friday night to celebrate this accomplishment.
So anyway, I just finished my 6th or so practice session for comps. Knowing the material is only half the battle, as you have to have a great deal of stamina to write without stopping for 3 hours, break for an hour, and then do another 3 hours. That second 3 hour session is what is going to get me. Not to mention day 2 of the same schedule. What is crazy is that even with the 3 hour time block, I have found that I still have trouble getting out all of the information I need to get down. Last weekend I wrote for the solid 3 hour practice session and when I finished I had 10 solid pages written (single-spaced), yet there was still information and examples I didn't get down. Got to keep working at it, I suppose.
I am currently impressed with my will power to say no (something at which I am truly awful). I hate saying no to people whether it is something fun that I want to do or something not-so-fun that someone asks me to do. However I have currently said "No" to the following things:
1. Babysitting (very tough; I hate turning people down)
2. A weekend at the LAKE with friends (that one really, really stung)
3. A different weekend by the POOL with other friends (oh, the pain)
4. Dinners/drinks with friends (not as difficult as 2 and 3, but still unhappy)
I have also noticed that many things which I usually value highly have become less important to me. For instance:
1. Personal appearance (showering and brushing teeth are about as good-looking as I've been getting)
2. Neat and tidiness (my closet is full to bursting with odds and ends that I don't have time to find a real place for)
3. Physical activity (I don't think you can get more sedentary than studying 6-10 hours a day)
4. Social interaction (my phone is always on silent and I have only been enjoying the company of textbooks)
5. Sunlight (I am so pale it looks rather sickly--in need of a spray tan)
6. Positive impressions (I think I have worn the same outfit like 3 days in a row, or at least variations of it--whatever I can find that is clean is what I wear without regard for matching, etc.)
7. Speaking in complete/articulate sentences (a lot of that is due to the social isolation one)
However, I am just grateful that I have wonderful friends and family who have been urging me on and supporting me, and an amazing boyfriend who is okay with the fact that we haven't had a legitimate conversation in over a week due to the studying/work/phone on silent/sleep deprivation schedule. Thank you all for your sweet thoughts, prayers, and well wishes. Friday at 4pm I'm reclaiming my life :)
Casey
Monday, May 23, 2011
Happy Monday!
What a paradox, I know: "Happy Monday". But unlike most Mondays, this one is rather happy. You see, my dears, the kind and wonderful radiologist I saw called me yesterday (yes, he took time out of his Sunday to call me--good people do still exist!) and he told me that the biopsy showed a benign fibrous adenoma! So hooray!!! Breast tumor down, liver tumor to go! I am extremely confident that this is largely due to all of your generous outpourings of thoughts, prayers, and sweet words. I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life to get me through these bumps (and by "bumps", I mean "sometimes bumps, but other times gigantic potholes or bottomless pits") in the road and keep me going.
With great news like that it makes it difficult not to see the sunny side of even not-so-sunny things. For instance, I now am only about 10 days away from comps, but I am handling the panic pretty well, I think. Sure, all of this studying and thinking is rather miserable, but, at least I have a nice cozy office to work in! In fact, I am considering bringing a sleeping bag to work and making a nest of sorts underneath my desk (anyone see that episode of Seinfeld?). Just take a look at all the space:
And sure the stress is causing me to break out like a 13 year old boy the summer before 9th grade, but hey, that's okay! Luckily with all of the studying isolation no one can see my poor, splotchy skin anyway! I'm still working on the brightside of mouth ulcers, but the fact that I think there might be one at all seems kind of promising, right? See, there is a brightside to (most) everything, even when you realllly have to reach to find it, ha! So for now, take it all in stride and join me in my mission of finding positives in the not-so-positive. Just look at what wonderful wallpaper studying makes:
Ha. And hopefully within the next week I will have something actually interesting to tell you about. I'm hoping to get a free night to be crafty again, but until then I will settle for being crafty (really just colorful) with my studies... Love you all!
C
With great news like that it makes it difficult not to see the sunny side of even not-so-sunny things. For instance, I now am only about 10 days away from comps, but I am handling the panic pretty well, I think. Sure, all of this studying and thinking is rather miserable, but, at least I have a nice cozy office to work in! In fact, I am considering bringing a sleeping bag to work and making a nest of sorts underneath my desk (anyone see that episode of Seinfeld?). Just take a look at all the space:
Ha. And hopefully within the next week I will have something actually interesting to tell you about. I'm hoping to get a free night to be crafty again, but until then I will settle for being crafty (really just colorful) with my studies... Love you all!
C
Thursday, May 19, 2011
What We Know
Hi, Loves. I want to let you know what I know, which is both good and frustrating, per ususal. So yesterday I went for the breast ultrasound at the big clinic downtown. I had an entourage that rivals Diddy's with my mom, dad, one sister, and boyfriend. Wellington wanted to come but apparently they frown on live animals in hospital settings.
They got me back pretty quickly (remarkable, let me assure you) and gowned me up. The radiology nurse/technician (I don't know, I didn't ask for credentials...she could have been the barrista from the coffee shop in the lobby) took me back to a room where I was asked a few preliminary questions and then had the awkward assignment of lying down (exposed, if you will) while she began the ultrasound. She found the lump/nodule/whatever you want to call it, and took some lovely snapshots on the ultrasound screen (hello, Christmas card picture). I, naturally, asked a million questions because I am not satisfied to simply lie there obediently and keep quiet. She took it in stride, though. She told me if this is what she was "almost positive" it is then there would likely be some other little nodules. She used some metaphor of like "this little guy likes to have a party and bring a bunch of his friends"... Yeah, not my kind of party either. So she ultrasounded (new word for today) me all over and in the under arm area, but none of "his friends" had RSVP'd I guess. So then she says, "Well, there isn't always more than one..." Hm.
So then the radiologist came in and he did a similar look around with the ultrasound and said that he also thought it was a pretty typical, run of the mill-type of lump that people get called a fibrous adenoma. Sounded pretty legit to me, and he said he was going to pop over to his office where the fancier imaging is (higher resolution, more mega-pixels or what have you), and he'd be right back. While we was gone, the nurse/tech and I chatted and she assured me that there wouldn't be biopsy, etc. and they would schedule me for 6 month follow-up for the next couple of years, and so on.
Then the radiologist came back in and said, "Well..." and the nurse/tech said, "I know what that means". And guess what? I did too. I've heard enough of those "Well"s to know that things weren't what he had expected in some way. Apparently the max size of these fibrous adenomas is 25mm, but little old special me--mine was 27mm. So given that it is larger than "normal" ones... and then he said my three least favorite words: "With your history...". But I know it's better safe than sorry and I didn't complain. However those three words are also what resulted in a colonoscopy for me when I was 18, so you can imagine my displeasure at their mention.
So the two of them got all the supplies ready and he explained what they were going to do: use the ultrasound to mark lines of where they should go in, numb me up with some lidocaine, prod a little bit in the place, make a "skin nick" so the biopsier (also a new word) could get in there, then take 5 tissue samples of the area, and patch me up. They did all of these things and it did not hurt (I actually prefer it to those 2 hour liver MRIs they've been doing on me--how weird to have a "preference" of medical testing). The strange part (though also interesting) was that I could see exactly what was happening via the live ultrasound monitor. In fact, as I watched the "feed" if you will, it was like "Live! From Casey's Breast!". While there was no special guest performance or anything, it was still rather fascinating.
At the end of the biopsy-ing (given up with actual words and just going with my own at this point), he tells me that they are going to put a titanium clip into the nodule so that when I ever have a mammogram, whoever does it will see it and know that there has been a biopsy there. I suppose it's the equivalent of writing "Dr. F waz here" or something. Fret not, though, this clip is miniscule and I will have no trouble going through airport security, so they tell me. But the silliest thing was that right before he did the clip thing he said "Okay, I am deploying the clip". I naturally started giggling and said, "Did you just say you were about to deploy the clip??". He kind of gave a laugh to and said it again in a mocking voice (but apparently you're supposed to be pretty still during these things so I don't think he was thrilled that I was giggling). And I told him, "That is the most ridiculous expression I have ever heard." It made it sound like he was about to drop 2 tons of emergency supplies into my breast, isolated by a Berlin wall-type structure. But it was not nearly as dramatic as all that, and within about an hour the whole process was complete.
They are sending the biopsy to pathology (and let me just tell you, breast tissue (or at least whateve they pulled out of me is gross-looking). And we should have results on Monday. The radiologist said he isn't worried, this is more of just standard procedure, and I am not too worried either. More just achy and sore and tired and mildly (depending on who you ask) irritable. I received instructions on how to deal with the bandages and not to lift anything heavier than a gallon on milk (which, as Patrick pointed out, means I cannot lift my backpack), and some other things. But my older sister took me to Yogurt Mountain and Patrick brought me some yummy dinner, so I am very blessed and happy to be so well-taken care of.
And you all, with your sweet and kind and thoughtful messages and calls and emails; I can't thank you enough! Your prayers are definitely being heard, and I could not be more appreciative. I will let you know as soon as we know anything, and hopefully I'll be able to shoot out a blog over the weekend. In the meantime, it's back to the books for me. Love you!
C
They got me back pretty quickly (remarkable, let me assure you) and gowned me up. The radiology nurse/technician (I don't know, I didn't ask for credentials...she could have been the barrista from the coffee shop in the lobby) took me back to a room where I was asked a few preliminary questions and then had the awkward assignment of lying down (exposed, if you will) while she began the ultrasound. She found the lump/nodule/whatever you want to call it, and took some lovely snapshots on the ultrasound screen (hello, Christmas card picture). I, naturally, asked a million questions because I am not satisfied to simply lie there obediently and keep quiet. She took it in stride, though. She told me if this is what she was "almost positive" it is then there would likely be some other little nodules. She used some metaphor of like "this little guy likes to have a party and bring a bunch of his friends"... Yeah, not my kind of party either. So she ultrasounded (new word for today) me all over and in the under arm area, but none of "his friends" had RSVP'd I guess. So then she says, "Well, there isn't always more than one..." Hm.
So then the radiologist came in and he did a similar look around with the ultrasound and said that he also thought it was a pretty typical, run of the mill-type of lump that people get called a fibrous adenoma. Sounded pretty legit to me, and he said he was going to pop over to his office where the fancier imaging is (higher resolution, more mega-pixels or what have you), and he'd be right back. While we was gone, the nurse/tech and I chatted and she assured me that there wouldn't be biopsy, etc. and they would schedule me for 6 month follow-up for the next couple of years, and so on.
Then the radiologist came back in and said, "Well..." and the nurse/tech said, "I know what that means". And guess what? I did too. I've heard enough of those "Well"s to know that things weren't what he had expected in some way. Apparently the max size of these fibrous adenomas is 25mm, but little old special me--mine was 27mm. So given that it is larger than "normal" ones... and then he said my three least favorite words: "With your history...". But I know it's better safe than sorry and I didn't complain. However those three words are also what resulted in a colonoscopy for me when I was 18, so you can imagine my displeasure at their mention.
So the two of them got all the supplies ready and he explained what they were going to do: use the ultrasound to mark lines of where they should go in, numb me up with some lidocaine, prod a little bit in the place, make a "skin nick" so the biopsier (also a new word) could get in there, then take 5 tissue samples of the area, and patch me up. They did all of these things and it did not hurt (I actually prefer it to those 2 hour liver MRIs they've been doing on me--how weird to have a "preference" of medical testing). The strange part (though also interesting) was that I could see exactly what was happening via the live ultrasound monitor. In fact, as I watched the "feed" if you will, it was like "Live! From Casey's Breast!". While there was no special guest performance or anything, it was still rather fascinating.
At the end of the biopsy-ing (given up with actual words and just going with my own at this point), he tells me that they are going to put a titanium clip into the nodule so that when I ever have a mammogram, whoever does it will see it and know that there has been a biopsy there. I suppose it's the equivalent of writing "Dr. F waz here" or something. Fret not, though, this clip is miniscule and I will have no trouble going through airport security, so they tell me. But the silliest thing was that right before he did the clip thing he said "Okay, I am deploying the clip". I naturally started giggling and said, "Did you just say you were about to deploy the clip??". He kind of gave a laugh to and said it again in a mocking voice (but apparently you're supposed to be pretty still during these things so I don't think he was thrilled that I was giggling). And I told him, "That is the most ridiculous expression I have ever heard." It made it sound like he was about to drop 2 tons of emergency supplies into my breast, isolated by a Berlin wall-type structure. But it was not nearly as dramatic as all that, and within about an hour the whole process was complete.
They are sending the biopsy to pathology (and let me just tell you, breast tissue (or at least whateve they pulled out of me is gross-looking). And we should have results on Monday. The radiologist said he isn't worried, this is more of just standard procedure, and I am not too worried either. More just achy and sore and tired and mildly (depending on who you ask) irritable. I received instructions on how to deal with the bandages and not to lift anything heavier than a gallon on milk (which, as Patrick pointed out, means I cannot lift my backpack), and some other things. But my older sister took me to Yogurt Mountain and Patrick brought me some yummy dinner, so I am very blessed and happy to be so well-taken care of.
And you all, with your sweet and kind and thoughtful messages and calls and emails; I can't thank you enough! Your prayers are definitely being heard, and I could not be more appreciative. I will let you know as soon as we know anything, and hopefully I'll be able to shoot out a blog over the weekend. In the meantime, it's back to the books for me. Love you!
C
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Another Tuesday
Good Morning, All. I hope you had lovely weekends and (at the very least) decent Mondays. My weekend was pleasant enough. Comps practice session on Saturday (not looking forward to the real thing, 3 hours at a time is tough). But rewarded with a nice dinner and a productively cleaning Sunday. Now back to business as usual (lockdown in my office). But look at how creative I have made studying!
This is what I call my "Theory Wall" (also called my "Wall of Theory"--the creativity ended with colored markers, I guess). Anyway this is a wall in my office and those are all index cards that I have put the bare bullet points of each theory on in an attempt to learn everything I need to know. Granted, knowing the bullet points is not sufficient to flesh out everything I will be forced to regurgitate in three hours (about health behavior theory), but it is a start. I also find that the writing and re-writing process helps to ingrain things into my brain, so that's a plus. I wish I also had a picture of my waste bin in my office (though I don't wish it so much that I am actuallly going to take one and upload it). The contents of my bin are very indicative of the past week. It's pretty much empty Starbucks cups (I can't drink coffee because of the caffeine but I can enjoy a hot chocolate and try to trick myself into thinking it is something highly caffeinated), a few soda cans (1. Diet Caffeine Free, but again with the tricking and 2. I hate throwing away cans but my building doesn't recycle anything but paper--usually I have a pile of about 10-15 cans and plastic bottles in my car because I can't bring myself to toss them so I take them home to recycle...it's a sickness), and this is settled next to my giant pile of discarded paper (which will be recycled...Cori).
In my other attempts to stay sane I have taken up "crafting" in my daily forced 1-2 hour breaks between studying and tutoring. I have even been to a couple of thrift stores to pick up old, generally ugly picture frames and things which I am refurbishing (i.e. painting) and doing mats for, etc. There was also a horrific bender at Hobby Lobby in which I spent more money than on my last grocery trip (or gas purchase which is, as you all know, horrendous). I should not be allowed in stores such as Hobby Lobby unsupervised. Anyway, I will showcase some of my work for you (because I know you are breathless with anticipation. Fear not, just scroll down...).
This is one of my favorites: Frame from Salvation Army, and I did the mat myself with some fabric, etc. Total cost: Under $4. Although I don't know how man hours and patience figure in to that total. I left them out to make the cost seem dramatically lower. Also:
Here is another I worked on for a few days (waiting for paint to dry and only being able to work in short intervals...). I really wish I had a before picture, but sadly I don't. I found this in the "picture frame" section at Salvation Army. It was a really gross brown with just an empty weird space for a picture (I guess) in the middle. I painted it, dismantled it and did some fabric magic, put it back together (which is the really impressive part, as my past does not indicate great prowess with reassembly, e.g. the VCR my cousin Laura and I dismembered to retrieve a copy of "Tommy Boy" that was stuck and in order to put it back together she had to sit on the top of it while I frantically put the screws back in... It literally was bulging on all sides and I don't think my aunt was very pleased). Anyway, I found some coordinating ribbon and voila, a decorative tray.
Okay, enough stalling, and back to business. I go for the breast ultrasound (and potential mammogram and/or biopsy) tomorrow afternoon. I am a bit more nervous than usual because I have never had this done. Also I had a vivid stress dream about it last night which isn't really helping alleviate my nerves. However, in a rather bizarre coincidence, my friend Katie from college messaged me that she was actually having the same thing last week and generously offered some perspective basd on her experience. It was greatly helpful, and that actually did help me to be a bit less nervous. Also, as a sidenote, the aforementioned Katie's results were good, which I am very happy to know, and I am so, so appreciative that she got in touch with me! So tomorrow I will go and see what this is all about, and hopefully leave with a glowing report that will send me on a euphoric study high until comps. I do request some prayers if you can spare them, and I will let you know what the test (hopefully doesn't) turn up.
C
This is what I call my "Theory Wall" (also called my "Wall of Theory"--the creativity ended with colored markers, I guess). Anyway this is a wall in my office and those are all index cards that I have put the bare bullet points of each theory on in an attempt to learn everything I need to know. Granted, knowing the bullet points is not sufficient to flesh out everything I will be forced to regurgitate in three hours (about health behavior theory), but it is a start. I also find that the writing and re-writing process helps to ingrain things into my brain, so that's a plus. I wish I also had a picture of my waste bin in my office (though I don't wish it so much that I am actuallly going to take one and upload it). The contents of my bin are very indicative of the past week. It's pretty much empty Starbucks cups (I can't drink coffee because of the caffeine but I can enjoy a hot chocolate and try to trick myself into thinking it is something highly caffeinated), a few soda cans (1. Diet Caffeine Free, but again with the tricking and 2. I hate throwing away cans but my building doesn't recycle anything but paper--usually I have a pile of about 10-15 cans and plastic bottles in my car because I can't bring myself to toss them so I take them home to recycle...it's a sickness), and this is settled next to my giant pile of discarded paper (which will be recycled...Cori).
In my other attempts to stay sane I have taken up "crafting" in my daily forced 1-2 hour breaks between studying and tutoring. I have even been to a couple of thrift stores to pick up old, generally ugly picture frames and things which I am refurbishing (i.e. painting) and doing mats for, etc. There was also a horrific bender at Hobby Lobby in which I spent more money than on my last grocery trip (or gas purchase which is, as you all know, horrendous). I should not be allowed in stores such as Hobby Lobby unsupervised. Anyway, I will showcase some of my work for you (because I know you are breathless with anticipation. Fear not, just scroll down...).
This is one of my favorites: Frame from Salvation Army, and I did the mat myself with some fabric, etc. Total cost: Under $4. Although I don't know how man hours and patience figure in to that total. I left them out to make the cost seem dramatically lower. Also:
Here is another I worked on for a few days (waiting for paint to dry and only being able to work in short intervals...). I really wish I had a before picture, but sadly I don't. I found this in the "picture frame" section at Salvation Army. It was a really gross brown with just an empty weird space for a picture (I guess) in the middle. I painted it, dismantled it and did some fabric magic, put it back together (which is the really impressive part, as my past does not indicate great prowess with reassembly, e.g. the VCR my cousin Laura and I dismembered to retrieve a copy of "Tommy Boy" that was stuck and in order to put it back together she had to sit on the top of it while I frantically put the screws back in... It literally was bulging on all sides and I don't think my aunt was very pleased). Anyway, I found some coordinating ribbon and voila, a decorative tray.
Okay, enough stalling, and back to business. I go for the breast ultrasound (and potential mammogram and/or biopsy) tomorrow afternoon. I am a bit more nervous than usual because I have never had this done. Also I had a vivid stress dream about it last night which isn't really helping alleviate my nerves. However, in a rather bizarre coincidence, my friend Katie from college messaged me that she was actually having the same thing last week and generously offered some perspective basd on her experience. It was greatly helpful, and that actually did help me to be a bit less nervous. Also, as a sidenote, the aforementioned Katie's results were good, which I am very happy to know, and I am so, so appreciative that she got in touch with me! So tomorrow I will go and see what this is all about, and hopefully leave with a glowing report that will send me on a euphoric study high until comps. I do request some prayers if you can spare them, and I will let you know what the test (hopefully doesn't) turn up.
C
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Tuesday, It Is.
Happy Tuesday, fair readers. I hope you are all doing well and had a nice weekend. I know for many people the weekend was spent helping with tornado clean-up (a very long, difficult process) and assistance. I hope that everyone is still safe and sound and that some progress was made. I actually spent the weekend in a very nice way: helping celebrate the wedding of my dear friend Christina. We had a girls' night on Thursday (painting some pottery-pictures to follow...maybe...if it turns out okay!), then luncheon, rehearsal, and crawfish boil rehearsal dinner! It was all really fun and relaxed and wonderful, topped only by the beautiful ceremony and reception on Saturday! All you ladies will be extremely envious of the amazing bridesmaid dresses Christina picked out for us (green seersucker, so, so cute!); it is literally a dress that I will wear again (soon and frequently, I imagine). Anyway, it was a great wedding weekend, followed by a quiet and lovely Mother's Day. And Happy Mother's Day to all of you great, dedicated, loving mothers (especially my own). I hope you were rightfully celebrated on Sunday and appreciated for everything that you do!
On the health front, I am scheduled for a breast ultrasound (and biopsy if needed--hopefully not needed) next Wednesday, May 18th. If you have an extra minute that day, please send up a prayer for me. This is actually a test that I have never had before (I didn't think there were any of those left!), so I am a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect, and naturally a bit anxious about the results. Lucky for me, I have plenty of studying to keep me busy until then. I'm currently focusing my efforts on Health Communications (Part 2 of 4 of comps). It is interesting, but difficult to envision having an endless supply of knowledge of the whole field accessible in my mind for whatever question(s) the comp might entail. We're making progress, though.
Anyway, I just wanted to update, say I'm thinking of everyone out there, and wish congrats to my dear Christina and her new husband--who are not reading this, as they are on their honeymoon in Napa :) as well as my sincere thank you to all the wonderful mother's out there, especially my mother, my two amazing grandmothers, and my two unparalleled godmothers. Take care of yourselves, and I'll be in touch soon (perhaps with amusing photos from my shoddy attempt at pottery, ha).
C
On the health front, I am scheduled for a breast ultrasound (and biopsy if needed--hopefully not needed) next Wednesday, May 18th. If you have an extra minute that day, please send up a prayer for me. This is actually a test that I have never had before (I didn't think there were any of those left!), so I am a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect, and naturally a bit anxious about the results. Lucky for me, I have plenty of studying to keep me busy until then. I'm currently focusing my efforts on Health Communications (Part 2 of 4 of comps). It is interesting, but difficult to envision having an endless supply of knowledge of the whole field accessible in my mind for whatever question(s) the comp might entail. We're making progress, though.
Anyway, I just wanted to update, say I'm thinking of everyone out there, and wish congrats to my dear Christina and her new husband--who are not reading this, as they are on their honeymoon in Napa :) as well as my sincere thank you to all the wonderful mother's out there, especially my mother, my two amazing grandmothers, and my two unparalleled godmothers. Take care of yourselves, and I'll be in touch soon (perhaps with amusing photos from my shoddy attempt at pottery, ha).
C
Monday, May 2, 2011
Another Monday
Here is another Monday. Like most, Mondays are not my favorite day, but this particular Monday is markedly different. So much has happened in just one week, it's hard to get my head around it. Found out I might/might not have cancer in my liver. Found out I might/might not have cancer in my breast. Thousands of people were devasted by the terrifying tornados just miles from my home. Osama Bin Laden is dead. I feel as though this is a lot of information for anyone to process, particularly in such a short amount of time. I hope that we can keep the dramatic and life-altering news to a minimum for the next few weeks (at least).
I am trying to avoid thinking about the things that I am inevitably thinking about by attempting to regain my focus. For example, this past weekend we held a wedding shower for a close friend. This coming weekend, my dear sweet, Christina is getting married, so I will be enjoying wedding festivities Thursday evening through Saturday. And in the meantime I am working on a final, and trying to get my head back on so that I can resume my comps preparation. To be clear, the latter is not on the same fun scale as the formers, but I'll take distraction where I can get it. Keep praying if you can, and I hope to have some good news for next time.
In the meantime, I think this picture (courtesy of my cousin K, taken on Easter) is a pretty good representation of the state of confusion we're all kind of in right now. Have I mentioned I love my family?
I am trying to avoid thinking about the things that I am inevitably thinking about by attempting to regain my focus. For example, this past weekend we held a wedding shower for a close friend. This coming weekend, my dear sweet, Christina is getting married, so I will be enjoying wedding festivities Thursday evening through Saturday. And in the meantime I am working on a final, and trying to get my head back on so that I can resume my comps preparation. To be clear, the latter is not on the same fun scale as the formers, but I'll take distraction where I can get it. Keep praying if you can, and I hope to have some good news for next time.
In the meantime, I think this picture (courtesy of my cousin K, taken on Easter) is a pretty good representation of the state of confusion we're all kind of in right now. Have I mentioned I love my family?
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Update
Hi everyone. Thank you so much for your overly generous outpouring of kind thoughts, words, and prayers. I cannot tell you how amazingly blessed I feel knowing that I have so many wonderful, treasured individuals in my life and on my side. Also, I want to offer my most sincere prayers and thoughts for all those affected by the horrendous storms of the past two days. So much damage, so many lives lost; it is unspeakable the horror of what many of us have seen in our own cities. We have been exploring different ways to get involved and to help the areas and countless people who were impacted. I hope that everyone reading will also look for ways to assist those in need right now.
I wasn't able to meet with the oncologist yesterday because they completely lost power at their clinic. It was just the same because I had no power at home and our neighborhood was completely blocked off by four humongous pine trees that were literally uprooted and overturned (leaving enormous six foot deep holes in the ground). Luckily both our neighbors and we suffered minimal (if any) damage. I was, however able to meet with the doctor today and here is what he said (summary, not ver batim):
The PET scan from Monday did not show any areas in my liver that would necessarily indicate cancer (good). If you are thoroughly interested in the science behind PET scanning and how this test could demonstrate such a thing, I suggest you look it up (as it is interesting), but I will not go into the details here because I do not think I do a very good job of explaining it and will probably only lead you into deep confusion (and potentially resentment of my poor explanation skills). It involves radioactive sugar and glucose uptake, etc. Anyway. The radiologists discussed it (in some sort of "cast your vote" type of way, perhaps) to determine the overall consensus of how we should proceed. One wanted me to go for biopsy, another disagreed, etc. They decided that I should be recanned in 3 months to see if the lesion has gotten any larger. If it has, then they will biopsy it. I feel rather good about this option although the oncologist made it clear that the results from this week neither show that it is or that it isn't cancer. So all that is left to do is to wait (and pray, naturally). There is a lot more of the confusing discussion we had about how the lesion is a melanoma it likely would have shown up very brightly on the scan, but there is a chance that it could be a melanoma and not have shown up brightly. Also, apparently if the lesion is a different type of cancer then it might not show up at all on a PET. As you can imagine all of the "if"s and "might"s and "can't be certain"s have left me a bit questioning of what we often consider nearly-infallible technology.
To make matters a bit more complex (because they weren't enough already), the PET scan did show an area of concern in my left breast. You can imagine my thorough surprise (and by surprise I do mean: shock, dismay, terror, anger, etc.) at this news because this was quite possibly an issue furthest from our considerations. Yet God seems to have a great deal of (far too much, in my opinon) faith in my family's ability to handle the random, the unexpected, and the difficult. So they are now sending me to be poked and prodded a bit more by the breast radiology clinic at their earliest convenience (about 2 weeks from now). At that point they will scan and biopsy if they feel so inclined.
Summary:
1. The lesion in my liver may or may not be cancer. Follow-up in 3 months to determine.
2. New area of concern in left breast. Testing in 2 weeks to determine.
You can imagine the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions this has brought about. Not to mention the absurd number of cupcakes I have eaten in the past two weeks. I have turned stress eating into a sport as competitive and rigorous as any Olympic event (and as the only competitor I am clearly winning). I am unsure of what the future holds, both near and far. However, I know that I have today and as many tomorrows as I am blessed with, and I fully intend to make good use of them. Now that the power is back on, the sky is the limit! I remind myself, though, that I am so fortunate in light of yesterday's terrifying events. I don't know that there is any more I could ask for than the countless blessings I have been given. I'll keep you updated. Love.
C
I wasn't able to meet with the oncologist yesterday because they completely lost power at their clinic. It was just the same because I had no power at home and our neighborhood was completely blocked off by four humongous pine trees that were literally uprooted and overturned (leaving enormous six foot deep holes in the ground). Luckily both our neighbors and we suffered minimal (if any) damage. I was, however able to meet with the doctor today and here is what he said (summary, not ver batim):
The PET scan from Monday did not show any areas in my liver that would necessarily indicate cancer (good). If you are thoroughly interested in the science behind PET scanning and how this test could demonstrate such a thing, I suggest you look it up (as it is interesting), but I will not go into the details here because I do not think I do a very good job of explaining it and will probably only lead you into deep confusion (and potentially resentment of my poor explanation skills). It involves radioactive sugar and glucose uptake, etc. Anyway. The radiologists discussed it (in some sort of "cast your vote" type of way, perhaps) to determine the overall consensus of how we should proceed. One wanted me to go for biopsy, another disagreed, etc. They decided that I should be recanned in 3 months to see if the lesion has gotten any larger. If it has, then they will biopsy it. I feel rather good about this option although the oncologist made it clear that the results from this week neither show that it is or that it isn't cancer. So all that is left to do is to wait (and pray, naturally). There is a lot more of the confusing discussion we had about how the lesion is a melanoma it likely would have shown up very brightly on the scan, but there is a chance that it could be a melanoma and not have shown up brightly. Also, apparently if the lesion is a different type of cancer then it might not show up at all on a PET. As you can imagine all of the "if"s and "might"s and "can't be certain"s have left me a bit questioning of what we often consider nearly-infallible technology.
To make matters a bit more complex (because they weren't enough already), the PET scan did show an area of concern in my left breast. You can imagine my thorough surprise (and by surprise I do mean: shock, dismay, terror, anger, etc.) at this news because this was quite possibly an issue furthest from our considerations. Yet God seems to have a great deal of (far too much, in my opinon) faith in my family's ability to handle the random, the unexpected, and the difficult. So they are now sending me to be poked and prodded a bit more by the breast radiology clinic at their earliest convenience (about 2 weeks from now). At that point they will scan and biopsy if they feel so inclined.
Summary:
1. The lesion in my liver may or may not be cancer. Follow-up in 3 months to determine.
2. New area of concern in left breast. Testing in 2 weeks to determine.
You can imagine the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions this has brought about. Not to mention the absurd number of cupcakes I have eaten in the past two weeks. I have turned stress eating into a sport as competitive and rigorous as any Olympic event (and as the only competitor I am clearly winning). I am unsure of what the future holds, both near and far. However, I know that I have today and as many tomorrows as I am blessed with, and I fully intend to make good use of them. Now that the power is back on, the sky is the limit! I remind myself, though, that I am so fortunate in light of yesterday's terrifying events. I don't know that there is any more I could ask for than the countless blessings I have been given. I'll keep you updated. Love.
C
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Hi loved ones. I am happy to be writing to you, but unfortunately under a bit of unhappy circumstances. I actually was going to delay posting until after tomorrow, but since there is no telling what tomorrow (any tomorrow) may bring, I thought it might be best to write today.
So if you've been following along for a little while, you know that a few months ago they found a mass in my liver and they ruled it a hyperplasia. They switched around my medication, and ta-da, my little liver friend would shrink away and be a bother no more. I went for my three month follow-up last week, and my oncologist told us that the mass did not shrink. Actually, rather strangely, it got a bit bigger. It didn't grow all that much, but it is odd in light of the fact that it was supposed to decrease in size.
So... they scheduled me for some more testing (a long and arduous PET scan yesterday) and I will meet with the doctor tomorrow to discuss the results. If the scan doesn't show anything indicating cancer then they will schedule a CT-guided needle biopsy (hopefully as fun as it sounds). If the results indicate cancer or something along those lines they will discuss surgery. Either way, the short road ahead of us looks a tiny bit grim.
However, I am keeping a positive attitude (except when alone in the car when yelling and whatnot is permissible). I have had several moments of lapsing into...mostly frustration than anything. It's so hard to know you have worked so hard for so long and then something completely outside of your control can pull the theoretical rug out from under you. Meaning, that this is particularly poor timing given the impending doom of comps, but I do not at all want to postpone them until November (the next available time to take them).
But, I will keep you posted and updated as I learn what is going on. In the mean time I ask for your thoughts and prayers (when you can spare them; so many people are going through so many worse things than I). Wish me and "Mini-Wells" (the tiny, fluffy stuffed puppy that my sweet boyfriend gave me for Easter and looks much like Wellington--thus the name "Mini-Wells"...Since boyfriend has been out of town on work while much of this is going on, Mini-Wells has been accompanying me to the hospital, etc.) lots of luck. We'll talk to you soon.
C
So if you've been following along for a little while, you know that a few months ago they found a mass in my liver and they ruled it a hyperplasia. They switched around my medication, and ta-da, my little liver friend would shrink away and be a bother no more. I went for my three month follow-up last week, and my oncologist told us that the mass did not shrink. Actually, rather strangely, it got a bit bigger. It didn't grow all that much, but it is odd in light of the fact that it was supposed to decrease in size.
So... they scheduled me for some more testing (a long and arduous PET scan yesterday) and I will meet with the doctor tomorrow to discuss the results. If the scan doesn't show anything indicating cancer then they will schedule a CT-guided needle biopsy (hopefully as fun as it sounds). If the results indicate cancer or something along those lines they will discuss surgery. Either way, the short road ahead of us looks a tiny bit grim.
However, I am keeping a positive attitude (except when alone in the car when yelling and whatnot is permissible). I have had several moments of lapsing into...mostly frustration than anything. It's so hard to know you have worked so hard for so long and then something completely outside of your control can pull the theoretical rug out from under you. Meaning, that this is particularly poor timing given the impending doom of comps, but I do not at all want to postpone them until November (the next available time to take them).
But, I will keep you posted and updated as I learn what is going on. In the mean time I ask for your thoughts and prayers (when you can spare them; so many people are going through so many worse things than I). Wish me and "Mini-Wells" (the tiny, fluffy stuffed puppy that my sweet boyfriend gave me for Easter and looks much like Wellington--thus the name "Mini-Wells"...Since boyfriend has been out of town on work while much of this is going on, Mini-Wells has been accompanying me to the hospital, etc.) lots of luck. We'll talk to you soon.
C
Saturday, March 26, 2011
And here we are today...
Hello all, I hope you are all well and enjoying Spring as it is suddenly upon us! Personally, I have been struggling with clothing decisions as the temperatures have been bouncing up and down. But hopefully they will be pretty warm from now on. Here's some recap about what I've been doing:
I spent about 2 solid weeks grading papers of the master's course I am co-teaching. It was awful. 70 students, and I would say about 55 of them chose the same topic... It was pulling teeth toward the end. I wasn't sure I was going to get through it. Also, I was not allowed (by the main professor) to count off for grammar, typos, spelling, or the fact that some of the students (master's, so they have to have completed college somewhere) did not staple their papers. Ugghhh. When I have full reign of my own courses that I teach, please note that any paper that is handed to me unstapled will be torn in half, then torn in half again, then torn in half again, and then sprinkled on the floor. While the student watches.
If you are getting your master's and you don't know how to use a stapler, or else you don't feel like giving your professor the courtesy of stapling your pages, then we have some big issues.... Sorry for that tirade, but perhaps you can see now how frustrating those couple of weeks were, ha!
P and I went to Mobile at the beginning of March as the guests of our dear, dear friends who live there. We also attended a Mardi Gras ball which was extremely fun (especially the wearing fancy clothes, etc. part). Here's a picture of our fabulousness:
If you can't tell, that is our version of a dramatic, movie-style kiss. Not sure what our inspiration was, but now we have a dramatic, movie-style kiss picture. Everyone needs one, right? Oh well. It's digital, I can always delete it :)
We celebrated my little sister's 21st birthday and St. Patrick's Day (two days in a row), which was a lot of fun, and goodness knows she was excited. Apparently the biggest day of her life, thus far (we're hoping there's much more to come!). I have lots of pictures from that, but I haven't uploaded them yet, so I'll add some later. I think I also need to get some releases from the people in them so I haven't violated anyone's privacy and whatnot... I will, however, show you the awesome, amazing gift that we got for little sis (40% off and split 4 ways):
Those are her dream boots for the past two years and luckily for her, the timing was right in the stores!
Also, we are celebrating my younger cousin, L's engagement! She and her fiance have been together for about 2 years and they just got engaged! They are getting married next June and we are all so, so excited for them! They are a great pair!
In boring, personal life news, I have been studying for comps, feeling guilty about any time I am spending when I am not studying for comps, and doing a fair amount of stress eating! Please, everyone, try to keep your jealousy of my glamorous lifestyle to a minimum. Not everyone can handle the glitzy world of higher academia...
Finally, today, I want to wish my other baby cousin, J, a happy, happy 2nd birthday! I will be showering and garbing up shortly to attend her "tu-two" birthday party (really excited about anything to do with ballet, and love her mommy's theme!). I also have heard there will be a moonbounce at the party which I haven't had the pleasure of enjoying since our after-prom party my senior year of high school. I'll ask J's mom if it's okay for me to put a picture of her up because she (and other baby cousin Allie) is/are so stinking cute I can't stand it!
I hope you are all getting out and enjoying some of this spring warmth, and I'll be updating soon with hopefully more pictures and more interesting news :)
C
I spent about 2 solid weeks grading papers of the master's course I am co-teaching. It was awful. 70 students, and I would say about 55 of them chose the same topic... It was pulling teeth toward the end. I wasn't sure I was going to get through it. Also, I was not allowed (by the main professor) to count off for grammar, typos, spelling, or the fact that some of the students (master's, so they have to have completed college somewhere) did not staple their papers. Ugghhh. When I have full reign of my own courses that I teach, please note that any paper that is handed to me unstapled will be torn in half, then torn in half again, then torn in half again, and then sprinkled on the floor. While the student watches.
If you are getting your master's and you don't know how to use a stapler, or else you don't feel like giving your professor the courtesy of stapling your pages, then we have some big issues.... Sorry for that tirade, but perhaps you can see now how frustrating those couple of weeks were, ha!
P and I went to Mobile at the beginning of March as the guests of our dear, dear friends who live there. We also attended a Mardi Gras ball which was extremely fun (especially the wearing fancy clothes, etc. part). Here's a picture of our fabulousness:
If you can't tell, that is our version of a dramatic, movie-style kiss. Not sure what our inspiration was, but now we have a dramatic, movie-style kiss picture. Everyone needs one, right? Oh well. It's digital, I can always delete it :)
We celebrated my little sister's 21st birthday and St. Patrick's Day (two days in a row), which was a lot of fun, and goodness knows she was excited. Apparently the biggest day of her life, thus far (we're hoping there's much more to come!). I have lots of pictures from that, but I haven't uploaded them yet, so I'll add some later. I think I also need to get some releases from the people in them so I haven't violated anyone's privacy and whatnot... I will, however, show you the awesome, amazing gift that we got for little sis (40% off and split 4 ways):
Those are her dream boots for the past two years and luckily for her, the timing was right in the stores!
Also, we are celebrating my younger cousin, L's engagement! She and her fiance have been together for about 2 years and they just got engaged! They are getting married next June and we are all so, so excited for them! They are a great pair!
In boring, personal life news, I have been studying for comps, feeling guilty about any time I am spending when I am not studying for comps, and doing a fair amount of stress eating! Please, everyone, try to keep your jealousy of my glamorous lifestyle to a minimum. Not everyone can handle the glitzy world of higher academia...
Finally, today, I want to wish my other baby cousin, J, a happy, happy 2nd birthday! I will be showering and garbing up shortly to attend her "tu-two" birthday party (really excited about anything to do with ballet, and love her mommy's theme!). I also have heard there will be a moonbounce at the party which I haven't had the pleasure of enjoying since our after-prom party my senior year of high school. I'll ask J's mom if it's okay for me to put a picture of her up because she (and other baby cousin Allie) is/are so stinking cute I can't stand it!
I hope you are all getting out and enjoying some of this spring warmth, and I'll be updating soon with hopefully more pictures and more interesting news :)
C
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Apologies
Hello friends, I am so sorry for my absence. Of course, I would end up taking an unintentional leave of absence after a posting discussing my intention of writing more frequently now! The fact of the matter is that apparently school is difficult. And trying to balance school with work and studying for comps, etc. is apparently a bit impossible. Well, not impossible, but it makes all other things inconvenient. I ask for your patience and understanding while I try to still carve out my niche this semester (and beyond).
For now, please know that I think of you all often and that the guilt of having not written eats me up (to the point of preventing me from writing...ever felt that way?). But I hope you have not given up on me, and that you will continue to follow my (rather dull but ongoing) adventures. Take very good care, and for those of you who will find importance in this statement, happy Mardi Gras!
C
For now, please know that I think of you all often and that the guilt of having not written eats me up (to the point of preventing me from writing...ever felt that way?). But I hope you have not given up on me, and that you will continue to follow my (rather dull but ongoing) adventures. Take very good care, and for those of you who will find importance in this statement, happy Mardi Gras!
C
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
So I know you all probably think I am quite the slacker since I haven't posted in almost two weeks. Well, you are right about the slacker part, but not really because of my blog absence. Ever since I got the good report you would think I would be walking on air and resuming normal function. Don't get me wrong, I certainly and thrilled, thankful, and ecstatic that I am alright, but for some reason I just haven't been able to get myself back into the swing of things. I mean, sure, I fulfill the necessary obligations to get me through each day, but I am missing my normal zest for productivity and general over-achieving. Perhaps it is just the winter doldrums... With all of the crazy freezing rain and hail and snow around here it has definitely thrown me off a little bit. It is very hard to get back into a routine when once a week you are waiting to hear if the interstates have been shut down or something.
I have decided that I must force myself to get out of the house each day, regardless of what appointments/meetings, etc. are going on. Between Wellington and television (two of my biggest weaknesses), I have become quite useless at home. However, I am at my office currently and for some reason after an hour of studying I am incredibly bored and looking for other distractions. These facts have led me to the following conclusions:
1. I have very little to no self-discipline.
2. I have the attention span of toy poodle.
3. I am going to fail comps.
However, I will not be going down without a fight. Once I can muster that fight, and all. So wish me luck, and expect to hear from me more frequently now (because of the obvious attention span/lack of discipline thing). And then wish me luck again. Now to on to something scholarly...
I have decided that I must force myself to get out of the house each day, regardless of what appointments/meetings, etc. are going on. Between Wellington and television (two of my biggest weaknesses), I have become quite useless at home. However, I am at my office currently and for some reason after an hour of studying I am incredibly bored and looking for other distractions. These facts have led me to the following conclusions:
1. I have very little to no self-discipline.
2. I have the attention span of toy poodle.
3. I am going to fail comps.
However, I will not be going down without a fight. Once I can muster that fight, and all. So wish me luck, and expect to hear from me more frequently now (because of the obvious attention span/lack of discipline thing). And then wish me luck again. Now to on to something scholarly...
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Good news!
So here is where we are:
I had the test last week. It was long and extremely uncomforable. However, it is over and we are moving forward! I met with the doctor yesterday, and here's what we have:
I have a focal nodular hyperplasia. This is a confusing way to say a benign liver tumor. These tumors don't do anything (other than get picked up on random tests for other things and cause lots of mental anguish) and are most often asymptomatic (don't cause any symptoms). You don't have to have them removed (yay!), and there is really no kind of treatment for them. Hey, as long as it doesn't bother me, I'm not going to bother it. They are switching up some of my medications, as something I take apparently has been linked to increasing the size of these things and, in very rare cases, causing a hemorrhage. Obviously, I do not wish to antagonize the thing, so I am going off of that medication.
They are going to re-scan me in 3 months (ugghh, of course the awful test is the one they have me repeating!) to see if going off of the medicine has helped it to shrink any. Either way, it is definitely a relief to know what this thing is and to know that it is not kind of immediate threat! So THANK YOU for all of your prayers, positive vibes, optimistic thoughts, etc. They all worked!
Since I am a sciency research nerd, I spent some time looking up information and research that has been done on these hyperplasias. Interestingly, I found that some very recently published studies have determined an association between pediatric/adolescent cancer survivors and these tumors. I don't think anyone has determined a linked cause between the two, but it could be that something about the genetics of pediatric cancer patients or the type of treatment they receive can increase risk of developing the hyperplasias. As stated before, these are not dangerous or anything, but having more information about the cause of these (like if there really is a link between having had cancer in youth and developing these), then we might be able to quell the anxieties of future adolescent cancer survivors by making physicians (and patients) aware that sometimes these things do come up in this population.
I hope that made sense, I'm trying to kind of wrap my head around how to phrase it. Anyway, the point being, that these hyperplasias could very well be yet another, and somewhat unknown, long-term side effect of pediatric cancer. As you may remember, this is kind of my scene, so I may just have some further researching to do on this subject and perhaps some position papers to start writing. Maybe I could save some other young cancer survivors the stress and anxiety of thinking they might have a malignant liver tumor... God certainly does work in mysterious ways, doesn't he?
I had the test last week. It was long and extremely uncomforable. However, it is over and we are moving forward! I met with the doctor yesterday, and here's what we have:
I have a focal nodular hyperplasia. This is a confusing way to say a benign liver tumor. These tumors don't do anything (other than get picked up on random tests for other things and cause lots of mental anguish) and are most often asymptomatic (don't cause any symptoms). You don't have to have them removed (yay!), and there is really no kind of treatment for them. Hey, as long as it doesn't bother me, I'm not going to bother it. They are switching up some of my medications, as something I take apparently has been linked to increasing the size of these things and, in very rare cases, causing a hemorrhage. Obviously, I do not wish to antagonize the thing, so I am going off of that medication.
They are going to re-scan me in 3 months (ugghh, of course the awful test is the one they have me repeating!) to see if going off of the medicine has helped it to shrink any. Either way, it is definitely a relief to know what this thing is and to know that it is not kind of immediate threat! So THANK YOU for all of your prayers, positive vibes, optimistic thoughts, etc. They all worked!
Since I am a sciency research nerd, I spent some time looking up information and research that has been done on these hyperplasias. Interestingly, I found that some very recently published studies have determined an association between pediatric/adolescent cancer survivors and these tumors. I don't think anyone has determined a linked cause between the two, but it could be that something about the genetics of pediatric cancer patients or the type of treatment they receive can increase risk of developing the hyperplasias. As stated before, these are not dangerous or anything, but having more information about the cause of these (like if there really is a link between having had cancer in youth and developing these), then we might be able to quell the anxieties of future adolescent cancer survivors by making physicians (and patients) aware that sometimes these things do come up in this population.
I hope that made sense, I'm trying to kind of wrap my head around how to phrase it. Anyway, the point being, that these hyperplasias could very well be yet another, and somewhat unknown, long-term side effect of pediatric cancer. As you may remember, this is kind of my scene, so I may just have some further researching to do on this subject and perhaps some position papers to start writing. Maybe I could save some other young cancer survivors the stress and anxiety of thinking they might have a malignant liver tumor... God certainly does work in mysterious ways, doesn't he?
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Getting ready for tomorrow
Hello once more. I am writing in a bit of a hurry because my evening doctoral course begins in about 15 minutes, and the instructor has made it very clear that he doesn't want us to be pursuing...outside activities during lecture. So I will try to respect his wishes and not email, text, blog, etc. until 8:30 when class concludes. Try.
I wanted to give you a quick update which is simply that I am returning to the hallowed halls of Kirklin Clinic tomorrow for this follow-up test of what is surely only a minor speed bump in an otherwise blissfully stressful and overworked "normal" semester. I am told that I am not to consume anything after midnight so you can imagine the anxiety snacking that will ensue before then! I wasn't nervous about this test until last week when I got a "pre-screening phone call" from someone at Kirklin who pretty much scared the crap out of me with his 8-900 questions ranging from "have you ever had an MRI?" to "are you claustrophobic?" to "do you have any tattoos, medical devices, body piercings, etc." They got progressively more strange and nerve-wracking until I was pretty much ready to sit in the floor and chew my nails off in Target.
SO! Please sent prayers and positive thoughts my way tomorrow and I will send you an update as soon as possible! Love!
C
I wanted to give you a quick update which is simply that I am returning to the hallowed halls of Kirklin Clinic tomorrow for this follow-up test of what is surely only a minor speed bump in an otherwise blissfully stressful and overworked "normal" semester. I am told that I am not to consume anything after midnight so you can imagine the anxiety snacking that will ensue before then! I wasn't nervous about this test until last week when I got a "pre-screening phone call" from someone at Kirklin who pretty much scared the crap out of me with his 8-900 questions ranging from "have you ever had an MRI?" to "are you claustrophobic?" to "do you have any tattoos, medical devices, body piercings, etc." They got progressively more strange and nerve-wracking until I was pretty much ready to sit in the floor and chew my nails off in Target.
SO! Please sent prayers and positive thoughts my way tomorrow and I will send you an update as soon as possible! Love!
C
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Care to procrastinate?
So I woke up in the wee hours of the morning to go with my family to take little sister to the airport for her big Ireland send off. It was good, I was/am jealous, pretty typical. Then I came home to take a little nappy before really getting into the groove of the day. Well, the nap ended up taking longer than expected (yes, let's blame the nap; it's the nap's fault, not mine) so I got kind of a late start on the real day.
But now here I am. Laptop a-going, piles of work around me... And then I killed about thirty minutes checking email, making a sandwich, seeing what this new facebook is about... And here I am. Still with the books and such, but no progress seems to be getting made. So here is where you come in. I am writing under the guise of having a loyal, devoted public that I must attend to (talk about delusions of grandeur); however, we all know that since I have nothing very important to tell you that I am simply trying to force away the unforgiving and accusing stares of the pile of textbooks next to me with a distraction. Aren't you lucky to be that distraction?
The answer is yes.
Okay, well the guilt is killing me, so I will attempt to do some productive work now. In the meantime, I will leave you with this thought: I could use a big overstuffed chair for my study cave.
C
But now here I am. Laptop a-going, piles of work around me... And then I killed about thirty minutes checking email, making a sandwich, seeing what this new facebook is about... And here I am. Still with the books and such, but no progress seems to be getting made. So here is where you come in. I am writing under the guise of having a loyal, devoted public that I must attend to (talk about delusions of grandeur); however, we all know that since I have nothing very important to tell you that I am simply trying to force away the unforgiving and accusing stares of the pile of textbooks next to me with a distraction. Aren't you lucky to be that distraction?
The answer is yes.
Okay, well the guilt is killing me, so I will attempt to do some productive work now. In the meantime, I will leave you with this thought: I could use a big overstuffed chair for my study cave.
C
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Here's where we are today
So... all of the crazy snow and ice weather in the Southeast this past weekend/current week has changed a few things. First of all, it allowed me some time to snuggle up inside with some hot cocoa and...study for comps. It also delayed my sister's flight to Ireland by two days :( And it caused my big test to be postponed. So sadly I have no wonderful news regarding the state of my liver as yet. However, they have rescheduled my testing for January 19th and my follow-up visit for January 25th. So now we have another week or two of some of that irritating waiting. But! Positive thoughts will be continued.
In the meantime, I am getting back into the full swing of classes and comps preparation and working on some really interesting projects. Lots of applications for grants (at least "mock" or "practice" applications) and some conference proposals. In other words, a lot of in-depth, intensive research on what's currently going on in the field of adolscent cancer. I'll keep you posted with what's going on and what I dig up.
Hopefully the snow and ice will thaw out pretty soon and I can emerge from hibernation and at least see some sun! Also, please pray for our close friends and their son who had appendicitis yesterday and is hopefully on the road to a quick and full recovery!
More Soon,
C
In the meantime, I am getting back into the full swing of classes and comps preparation and working on some really interesting projects. Lots of applications for grants (at least "mock" or "practice" applications) and some conference proposals. In other words, a lot of in-depth, intensive research on what's currently going on in the field of adolscent cancer. I'll keep you posted with what's going on and what I dig up.
Hopefully the snow and ice will thaw out pretty soon and I can emerge from hibernation and at least see some sun! Also, please pray for our close friends and their son who had appendicitis yesterday and is hopefully on the road to a quick and full recovery!
More Soon,
C
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Back to the grind...
So here I am, back at it. As I replied to Ellen, I should have really enjoyed my week off more thoroughly because things are back to crazy busy and somehow I am already behind (or feel that way). The past three days have been all about buying books for my classes (rather trying to because they aren't in yet), going to meetings, prepping for TAing my first master's-level class (yay!), and doing other general awful errands (i.e. taking car in to be serviced, making returns, etc.). Yuck.
But now I am sitting and waiting for my first real course of the semester to start (Factorial Analysis of Quantitative Scale Development? Something terrifying like that). I am trying to utilize every spare minute of time to shout out to you since I have not found myself sitting still for the past 5 days or so. So maybe the next segment of my posts will be what I will later refer to as my "short but sweet" period. Famous painters get to have periods and moods and such, why not me too?
As an update on the other areas of life, I go for the follow-up testing on my liver buddy on January 11th. While I am sure it is nothing but a pesky little life-interrupter some prayers sent my way are always appreciated! They are doing an MRI with contrast to get a better look at the bugger (which hopefully is still little and hasn't moved or grown or done anything else nuisansome [new word of today]). I will meet with the oncologist on the 13th to discuss what they (hopefully don't) find.
In the mean time I am filling my days quite to the brim. With classes, teaching (me, teaching, what?), tutoring, prepping for COMPS (AAAggghhh, already have received some terrifying emails about them), and the like, I barely have time to create a mini-presentation about the muscular and skeletal systems for A's class and to watch Patrick and the guys move a clawfoot bathtub on Sunday... Don't be jealous. And by the way, Leslie, and Delia, this does not mean stop calling me. In fact, call me more. I could use the distraction!
Hopefully updates and a little fun Paint art soon!
C
But now I am sitting and waiting for my first real course of the semester to start (Factorial Analysis of Quantitative Scale Development? Something terrifying like that). I am trying to utilize every spare minute of time to shout out to you since I have not found myself sitting still for the past 5 days or so. So maybe the next segment of my posts will be what I will later refer to as my "short but sweet" period. Famous painters get to have periods and moods and such, why not me too?
As an update on the other areas of life, I go for the follow-up testing on my liver buddy on January 11th. While I am sure it is nothing but a pesky little life-interrupter some prayers sent my way are always appreciated! They are doing an MRI with contrast to get a better look at the bugger (which hopefully is still little and hasn't moved or grown or done anything else nuisansome [new word of today]). I will meet with the oncologist on the 13th to discuss what they (hopefully don't) find.
In the mean time I am filling my days quite to the brim. With classes, teaching (me, teaching, what?), tutoring, prepping for COMPS (AAAggghhh, already have received some terrifying emails about them), and the like, I barely have time to create a mini-presentation about the muscular and skeletal systems for A's class and to watch Patrick and the guys move a clawfoot bathtub on Sunday... Don't be jealous. And by the way, Leslie, and Delia, this does not mean stop calling me. In fact, call me more. I could use the distraction!
Hopefully updates and a little fun Paint art soon!
C
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